End of my fasting.

  I guess many things have happened in this one week, are the seas going to calm now? Honestly, I dont know what to expect in the coming times, I have faced so many of my demons...

  There are many occasions during my intensive fasting when I felt like writing a post on this blog, but I didnt manage to in the end. I am not sure what its due to, but perhaps I was too tired and distracted to write? Anyway its coming to an end, and I did learn something from this experience I guess. What's more, it helped me bridge relationships here and there where I did not expect to find it.

  I guess this is the stage of pruning that people have been talking about, and I am sure that I have been changed by this experience. Regarding my confusion to my previous post, I have an answer. Even though there may be little voices of doubts here and there, but those are from the fallen angels who tries to lead me astray.

   This incidence reminds me of a testimony I have heard quite a while ago, its regarding this man who was in a hospital and thought that he couldnt feel the presence of god. He, then, had an image whereby the devil was whispering things into his ear. Closing his eyes, he settled his heart and prayed. The more he prayed, the further the devil left him and soon, the overwhelming presence of the lord was evident in the room. Praying is powerful. A skill all christians must have and be active in using.

  Anyway, the meeting with Jj and Aedy was weird. Weird in a way because it did not feel like something happened, or maybe I expected too much? It was really awkward when I sat down with JJ sitting adjacent to me alone( not even opposite). I didnt know what to say, and he was just looking at his phone and looking at somewhere else. Luckily Aedy came and lighten the mood, if not I think I would have left without saying much cause the silence was killing me.

  After that we talked through the things that have been going through our mind, I felt normal. Normal as in a sense, normal. I wonder what will ever happen to us again in the future? Both the situations resulted from no situations and I think its my fault that the no situations become situations. I really need to get my EQ score as high as possible, so that I can act in a more mature and perhaps nicer way to people that I shut off from my life? Be it intentional or not.

  I know that God is working in my life now, and is slowly changing this part of me that is so disgusting. I really hope that it will end soon before I bring more hurt to people who care about me. Sometimes I really want to tell them to stop caring about me anymore cause I dont think that I am worth it. They have so many things in life that is so much better than me. Nevertheless, I really appreciate their presence and I hope that God will continue to bless them with his presence. Jesus, I commit myself, and the people that I love into your hands, amen.