A sister's departure pt1

  Hey guys, I am back!! After reading through all of the posts that I have posted on this blog, so much of memories came back rushing to me! I am relieved that I started a blog back when I was in secondary school, because it holds so much value to me now...

  Life got me thinking about many things recently, on how I view different people in my life. One of the church sisters, Shumana, is leaving to Australia to progress in her education, and there is a chance that she is not coming back anymore! What's more is that, she is leaving this Sunday morning!

  When I heard of the news, I didnt know what to think. Countless of memories went flashing by, and I was really sad that, this friend that I have, I might not be able to see her in the future anymore. She is a really sincere, nice person who really cherishes things, moments with people together. I always question her as to why she takes photos all the time, but not anymore. Because from the day she stepped into our school, she knew that she wont be here for long, she knew that she is going to miss everything around her, and that's why she took the photos, for keepsake.

 It was a sharing session. Once she started talking about her stay in singapore, there was this twirl of emotions inside me, begging to come out,I couldnt control it, I never could, and perhaps, never will. My eyes became teary and I was trying so hard not to let it out, I mean, who cries at such a simple stuff, even now, when I am thinking about her departure, the tears never ceased. You could tell from her tone, and perhaps, her facial expressions that as she was sharing, she could not bear to leave us also. But this is life, we have to go forward to complete our own stories. No matter how our stories end, I am glad that we have crossed paths and she was in a chapter of my life.

  Soon, the sharing session was opened to people on the table. I was so tempted to share, but I was afraid that my overwhelming emotions would take control of me and so, I hesitated. I thought to myself, I could just share it to her later privately, and spare everyone on the table an episode of a drama. One good thing is that I can save my face also, should I fail to tame my emotions.

  Naturally the head of the table, XY, started sharing. And soon after he was done, there was a moment of silence. Without anyone initiating to share about their feelings, he prompted me. I wasnt shock to say the least, for I know that I had to do it. I braced myself, and tried to harden my heart before telling her what I felt. Reality came crashing down hard on me as I was sharing, for this was my farewell to her, to my friend and I could not stop myself from tearing. An uncontrollable sob stopped me from continuing my sentence, I was angry at myself. Why cant I tell her what I feel without crying. Eyes were on me, and I felt like I am wasting their time. And so, after a few attempts of catching my breath, and trying to speak, I gave up. I let go of the spotlight, and decided to tell her privately, when we are alone. Only then, will I be able to tell her properly without feeling the stress from the others.

   And soon, the day just went by, I wasnt thinking about her until I walk home from CCK mrt. It is a 40-60mins walk, and it has always been my favourite past time. This route that I have always walk, is a revenue where I can freely express myself, be it to think about various stuff in my life, or to simply just singing and lose weight. It was suppose to be a simple walk home where I wanted to walk the familiar path home and experience my own magical world that I have created. But somehow, my thoughts strayed to her, leaving Singapore and I cant help but to imagine myself singing to her at the airport. It was a bittersweet feeling, and I couldnt help but to tear again. Once again, I felt so stupid. Why am I tearing? Nevertheless, I continued on the path, and just thought of the times when we had spent together.

   From days where we just teasing about ang moh boyfriends, to days where we went hiking together, or even days when we share our inner feelings and confront our problems together. She was a very good friend. We might not spend a lot of times together, but I know, when we do, they are all quality time. I am sure that she will have a great life ahead of her, and I pray to my Father up in heaven that, he will bless her with many things in life.