Today is a big day and my voice status is not anywhere good at all; I have been practicing songs every day from 4 to 10! All was good until I woke up today and something hit me in the head. Hard. After this concert, the seniors, all of them, will graduate! Its like saying that more than half of the people on stage will disappear after this performance! Voice ensemble will never be the same as before again! This is why sometimes I hope that we will have more time, that the concert is still months away and we are busy preparing...everything just moves so fast that I lost track of time...
There is this violent twirl of emotions, whirling around inside me, which I always have when I had huge performances...honestly saying, up until now, I still cannot distinguish them, all I know that it is neither positive nor negative. I dont know if all these emotions are going to burst out later on during the performance, but I really hope that I dont- history has told me otherwise, but this time I will be stronger.
I dont know where this post will lead me for I have been relentlessly pouring out my feelings, but I know that there is something I really want which I will never get: for time to stop. This is the most surreal period for me, sometimes I really do wonder if I am that slow, to only think of this kind of things on the BIG day itself. Sometimes I hope that I'd never realize at all so I would stop dreading, stop counting the hours, the minutes, the seconds and just continue being ignorant at this very day...
P.S. I HATE MOVING ON!
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