That split second.

  That split second of decision making really makes a difference. I just suddenly decided to look into my past hurt and there came the dull lingering pain. Well, I suppose I am handling it nicely now and I started thinking of the times when I felt hurt. Like, certain things that were said or done, I re-enact it in my brain and I responded with those same emotions. Its like, if I want to, I could just make myself cry now if I dive into those thoughts. So have I really move on, or did I just try to ignore things? I dont really know what to think now. There are so many things going through my mind. One thing is for sure, I am an idiot.