Today I worked half time from 5 to 1030 and I felt more efficient than ever! For some reason, I had insomnia last night and I woke up at 3am, that's when I saw Aedy's facebook message and had a little chat with her. It was until 4am plus then I realized that I needed some sleep because I was so tired from day 1 and wk is coming to my house to play ps3 in the morning! I tried to sleep but I couldnt, and each time I look at the clock, 1 hour have passed. It was so irritating and it lasted until 7am! I couldnt believe it, I was so tired already and this happened to me. Eventually, I was finally able to sleep when the sun came up.
My beauty sleep lasted less than 2 hours. I woke up at 9am. Who the hell wakes up at 9am when they sleep at 7? I was super pissed at myself yet at the same time, I was kind of glad because it means that I have the time to prepare to welcome wk into my house. He came and we played for quite awhile and it was until 2pm plus when he had to leave and venture into the town alone. What an emo boy he is. By this time, I was super exhausted and I really have to sleep. I slept and I woke up by 4pm which is just nice for me to prepare myself and go to work.
Work was pretty fine. There was no time for you to think. Every second you are moving and every second you have things to do. There is no way you can be consumed by the thoughts of being tired, you just do. I only look at the clock once today, and at the end of the day, I feel quite satisfied by myself and my group of friends. I cannot believe it, people nowadays keep complimenting my voice and my ego is bad enough already.
"Omg you have such a sweet voice!" "You have the voice to do covers!" We are all around the same age over there and somehow, I became a boyboy already. I am not worried about this, however, I will be if after NS I am still treated like that. Oh ya, even more people got shocked when they hear my age- they all thought that I look younger! I am so over the moon when I heard that! Its mostly due to my voice, but my face does looks younger!( must be the pimples).
The best part is when we do closing! I got a free cup of Chawanmushi today and a few mochis! I also got to eat a few sushis and they all tastes awesome! Say hello to my growing tummy! Sigh, I should probably learn to control myself over the next few sessions so that I can remain my size, if not slimmer. God I need a surge in my metabolism rate!
Anyway, I am still wondering if I did the right thing this morning. Logically speaking, I am not wrong. I did quite a bit and went out of my comfort zone a couple of times to try and bridge that relationship( which wasnt really my fault), but all I get at the end of the day is nothing. I know nuts what the other person is thinking and there's not even a single reply. All I got back is just some random likes on instagram which was also one of the things I went out of my comfort zone and put on a super thick layer of skin to do from the start. I am pretty sure that nothing else is going to come anymore and I dont need someone to keep reminding me of people that wasted my time, effort and heart. So I messaged the person directly and asked him to stop. I need to forget about that this person even existed in my life. That's what I need to do.
On a side note, I also dont feel angry or whatever anymore towards the group. Instead, I lost all those emotions already, but I just want to keep reminding myself of the times when I felt it and act according to that because why should I be nice to people who arent nice to me in the first place? Why should I forgive when all the harm is done to me? They did not even do anything about the situation. Just pretend pretend nothing ever happen because they are not affected by it and hope that I return that stupid favor? I know if I keep this thoughts, I will eventually be consumed by it and stay as a grudge-ful person, but I just dont want to forget. I just dont want to be nice to them, that's all.
Shit, now I am starting to emo again. Forget about the people and let the emotions towards them stay( does it even make sense?)! You can do it and still have a happy life! Jiayou! :D
No comments:
Post a Comment