Oh my gosh!

  After I scan through my recent blog posts, I realize that more than half of them are about him. This is really bad, need to start balancing the ratio again! Anyway, life's good but I just cant help but to feel lonely when they celebrated XY's birthday. Not that they intentionally cast me out or anything, but during the affirmation, I realize many things.

1) XY is really really spiritual and he sincerely care for people
2) XY takes care of almost all the guys in my unit
3) XY is meets his sheep no matter how busy he is
4) I havent met Sheldon for many months.

  Then it struck me and I realized that I want to know XY as a person, and I want to experience being his sheep just for awhile. Weird, how a joyous occasion can bring about such thinking. Then all of the sudden, Sheldon texted me and say his sorry for not talking to me and wants to meet up soon. Honestly, when I received that message, I didnt feel like replying him anymore. I really dont know when is the last time I met sheldon and if I remember correctly, I initiated to meet up. Also, recently I tried to be accountable and told me about what I plan to fast from, he did not reply me or tell me anything. Its just a "too late" feeling kind of thing.

  I think I am a stubborn person. When I dont have something, I will want it sooo badly and when I finally get it, I just dont want it anymore. Haha, why am I so weird. Oh well, I woke up 5am in the morning just to type this, I guess I am really weird! Good morning people! :D