Apparently we were suppose to move to a new dorm and it was first day of the move. I got there early and helped move FY things over too. Then I was on the computer. I reminded myself to call FY over to the new dorm as he was busy with a given task. I lost track of time and suddenly morning came.
I woke up to messages from him and he slept in the old dorm. Then our Mission came. So in this world we were all pharahs, flying and shooting cannons to blow away enemies which in this case, are angry gorillas. I sort of had a nostalgia halfway through the battle that it was the like the first meeting I had with FY in the dream. And then I woke.
It is not particularly exciting or dreadful. It was a very simple dream. Which however, makes me question once again, who is FY to me. Is he still a crush? Or is he something more? It is not like I have a raging fire inside me that makes me want to see him, yet I know that somewhere inside me, there's always a place for him. And it is irreplaceable. It's a pleasant feeling whenever I think about him.
Sometimes I asked myself what if one day he is attached to someone else. Let's face it, this is bound to happen. How will I feel? How will I react? What if I have decided that on day 1 I wouldn't like her?
Growing up is like that I guess. Full of uncertainties. One day you are fine, next moment you are panicking, worrying, thinking of the what ifs. I think as long as you have close friends by your side everything will turn out fine. We will support each other through.
What if I don't have friends though? Like I couldn't make one at all. Will I still be as headstrong as I am now? Being lonely is such a scary thing. I can never comprehend though, I have been blessed with so many friends(okay la not so many) since I can remember. I need to remind myself to cherish them as much as I can before it is too late.
Do I miss him? Answer is yes.
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