It was indeed an invaluable experience! Though I don't know how good the service was at hope church, but I felt that I was really ministered and it was really a godly timing.
Though one of my reasons for going was turned redundant because my friend got busted for going to church. I had another reason to go: to hear Ruth's testimony on stage. It's so different hearing bits and pieces of her story, and hearing everything in one shot. Though I have heard it before, I still can't help but to tear at how god actually worked in her life. Knowing her on a personal basis, I was there at all seasons of her life, and I know that, she had really grown since the last time I saw her.
What about me? Have I grown? I think not, what I did was that I allowed my emotions to get a better of me. No good no good! I am still so immature and selfish in whatever I do. I am so self-centered. That shouldn't matter anymore because I am going straight to god! No more emotionally attached to people cause they will fail me. Get attached to god instead, although god promised us that there WILL be trouble in this world, god also promised us his grace and mercy. That he knows what we are going through, and he will give us the strength and wisdom to pull through this thing called life.
I could tell that towards the end of the sermon, once again I was touched by god and I know that many people around me was touched as well. So many sniffling sounds- cannot be just flu right? I was indeed blessed by the service. Even during praise and worship, it's been awhile since I gave all out and not get distracted halfway. It felt amazing!
Today, I will be fasting from Amy winehouse. Instead of casting my troubles towards this very troubled soul already, I should cast them towards god instead. Who else is better to handle my problems than this all powerful god?
One revelation that I have: When we pray, we can only hope for things to happen. Because we are not god, and god did not promised us anything. If god were to answer every prayer that we have with a "yes" because we say that we have "faith". We are basically selfish idiots who is trying to twist God's arm to our liking. However, when we hear the voice of god, it is time to be Nike and just do it. Because whatever god ask you to do, he will surely back you up. That's when you have faith.
Faith is not a formula where because we pray pray pray, read bible, pray pray pray, attend service, pray pray pray, tithing and god will answer our prayers with a yes.
Faith is not a power or force that we try to tap into and if we focus more than enough, our prayers will come to pass. Faith is not what we believe we will receive. Faith is not a karma. Faith is not a force who will move the hand of god.
Faith happens, when we know that god will be there. That we are 100% sure that it will come to pass. Because god says so- not man.
Anyway, even though I have learnt so much and god lifted up some of my burdens. I still dont know what to do with my relationship with him now, so unpredictable, so weird! I don't think I am tired anymore because god refreshed me. Oh well, no matter how it is going to turn out, I really hope that it is for the better!!
Today is a Sunday! And I feel so free to just hang out somewhere! Wonder anyone will ask me out today? Haha, see how bah! :D
No comments:
Post a Comment