Going back to Camp.

 Honestly, I am feeling super reluctant to go back to camp even though this is my POP week. I am tired and constantly dizzy. Might have something to do with the medicine I am taking, in anyway, I am bed-bound. (I feel like I am saying things weirdly, but I cant spot the mistake, or it might just be the medicine.) Yes, blame the medicine, because it makes me feel so horrible for the past few days.

  Anyway, early in the morning tomorrow, I will have to take a ride to Pasir Ris and reach the ferry terminal by 7. Then proceed on with the CRAZY GP rehearsals and finally walk that not-really-24km-its-more-than-that road march and my BMT life is officially over. They say that in the army, especially in BMT and especially obese batches, you get to meet friends for life. So far, I cant really say anything for them, although mostly it's my fault because I am such an anti-social person. Maybe I have, maybe I dont. I dont know. I just felt that no matter how many friends I have made I will still lose them eventually. Like how I have not been talking to my VE friends or my secondary school choir friends and I feel sort of distant. So, all the best to me regarding this area, you this emo kid.

   I would like to take this opportunity to vent my anger on this one person who I thought is very nice and sociable but turns out that he is just a selfish guy who thinks that he own this world. But of course, I wouldnt let him. I dont get how he thinks. Okay, so what happened was that we were all marching our 16km road march, all of the sudden there were a few changes at the front of our platoon resulting in a change of our rows. So this guy actually got pushed backwards and I was in front of him. He was sad because he did not get to march in line with this guy who is now beside me. So this childish guy wanted to change place with me so that he could march with that guy. I said no. Because I did not feel like it and I dont like walking behind. He asked and asked again. He even tried running and overtake me, but of course, I ran and took back my spot. That's when he called me selfish and many other things I did not remember. That's when I realized he is the selfish one and my impression of him DROPPED earth core low.

  Firstly, why must he be so narrow minded? Couldnt he have asked the guy he wanted to be with to swap places so that they could be in lined? I dont know if it occured to him or not, but when he called me selfish I tried to point it out and he went WHINING. Oh my god, grow up will you? Or perhaps if he could actually ask why I dont want to swap places and then he would understand what is going on but he didnt. Why? Because he is selfish and he only thinks about himself. AND IF the person that he wanted to march with wanted to march with him as well, wouldnt you think that the guy would have swapped places backwards already? You see, something is wrong here and it is definitely not me. Of course, I could have been the nice guy and just swapped places from the start, but why would I? I am sick of being the nice guy and being taken advantage off. Anyway, this guy is hiding a rotten personality underneath and I hate it.

  Okay, now that I have finally vented ALL my anger I think that I am ready to go back and face them. I think I am supposed to start loving the NS life and would want to meet my friends now, but I dont. I know that I can live without them and I cant wait for all that to happen. I am supposed to be emotional now that it is coming to the end, but I am not. I am just sad that my eye candy will be gone and most probably this eye candy wouldnt even know that I exist. The point that I am trying to make here is that a few weeks later I would most probably forget about this eye candy, which means everyone else who I actually try to make friends with.

  I dont know why I am isolating myself like this. Maybe I am just tired. Maybe I need a rest and maybe it is the medicine talking(YES, BLAME THE MEDICINE). Honestly speaking, right at this instant, my head is spinning as I am typing this post. So yup. I just want to say I miss all my friends( secondary, VE, DHT, hope) and I hope to hang out with you guys soon! (YES, THE MEDICINE SPEAKING!)

  P.S.  I don't expect the fluent use of language in this post and I hope myself all the best in waking up on time tomorrow. Life sucks when you have to reach the other extreme side of Singapore early in the morning 7am. What to do? SUCK THUMB!