Heart problems?

When I was born from my mother's womb, I was born with a defect. Doctors call it Patent Ductus Arteriosus , layman call it a hole in a heart. I call it a blessing in disguise.

This condition have not yet affect the quality of my life- or maybe it did already but I didn't notice. I always assume that my lack of stamina when playing sports is due to my laid back attitude and lazy lifestyle. This is still probably the case, although a lot of people think otherwise. From there, I am treated differently by trainers/PE teachers.

I am forbidding myself to think this as a possibility because if I cling on this thought, I will never get out of my shell. Every single time I feel "tired" or just want to easy way out, I will just stop and tell people, "I have a hole I my heart". This will stop me from trying, without ever knowing what is my limit. This will forever be my convenient excuse because not doing it is so much easier. I am not going to fall for that trap.

I wonder what they will do to me though- I am currently on my way to have my cardio check. Will everything turn out to be fine? I did pray about my heart for healing when I attended the last conference in hope church; I felt that warm fuzzy feeling there. What do I want to hear? That there is a problem or there isn't a problem at all?

Anyway, I was just wondering why do I post so often nowadays on my blog. Then it hit me, I don't have a go to person. Doesn't matter if anything happen, no one comes to my mind to share my life with except for you people who reads this blog. I wonder if I will ever know you guys. Then again, I have such a boring life that I don't think anyone will bother to read( except to my stalker friend).

I also need to get rid my annoying habit of reaching early. My appointment is at 4, now it's 3 and I am reaching my destination already. I just realize something, what should I do after this check up? Hmmm....I better try to source out for people now! See you! :D