Seriously?

  I am such a pathetic little bastard. I cant believe I went to check on facebook every now(min) and then just so that I can spot a few people online and have a chat with them. Its been days and I just caught that person, now I am feeling super happy and this giddiness wouldnt go away. Am I really that desperate/crazy/low? Anyway, one of my best friends in my course always say this, "calm your tits" and I am picturing her saying that to me now with her swag. It didnt really help but it just makes me feel even happier. Its been awhile since I have this kind of joy and I am smiling too much that I am scaring myself.

  I want to go on talking some stupid philosophy about life now but I think it will dampen my mood when I get reminded of things I dont want to remember. So I will just touch on the safer topics. I have spent my past 2 days watching Suits. Its an english drama flim revolving around lawsuits and I love it! Its recommended by one of my friends and now I am at season 2 halfway towards the ending. Although the conversations arent as intellectual as what I expected as in Grey's anatomy but I love it just fine. They have some really pretty actors, and their acting aint half bad at all! My personal favorite is Donna, she is fun, real and competent. I love her and she's bitchy sometimes but that's why I love her.

  Oh yes, something happened recently that make me at a loss as to how I will react. This girl, this super aggressive girl who think nothing but herself right at the end of the trip decided to confront me today. She said that she was sad that I was avoiding her. Really? Cause when I did and actually did something( leaving the group) she did nothing at all, she didnt talk or anything. She left at it. That was suppose to be how it ends. I dont want to be friends anymore because making up with friends sucks and it hardly works. That was my initial thought until I stop and think. I am willing(still) to forgive someone who did absolutely nothing when I tried all things to patch things up and yet I want to shut her off because of one stupid thing and she's making the effort to patch things with me. The other person didnt care. What the hell am I thinking right? I am seriously such an idiot. Of course, I am an idiot, such a stupid blind idiot. Okay I will stop now before I devalue myself any further.