After rejecting Sheldon's advances for so long, I initiated to meet up with him during the camp! I really have no idea what to talk about and I thought that maybe we would talk about sensitive topic, but no. We just catch up with our lives and I was thankful for Wei Koon for being there and make the conversation a lot more easier and light hearted!
I also met up with Yali to pass to her some of the souvenirs that I bought for her, Gladys and Siqi from Thailand! I didn't dare to meet all of them because it might disrupt their lg activities. I was really happy when Yali told me that she was proud of me when she heard me singing on stage. She also felt a sense of familiarity and miss me and my voice when they worship god in lg. To be able to hear that makes me really happy and also guilty for not going back to my lg.
Oh yes, I actually sang on stage for the opening of the campus got talent! I was super nervous can, my legs were shaking violently( especially towards the end) and I was looking at the screen most of the time for the lyrics! Honestly, I didn't feel really good when I finished the song because it is not a song that I feel good in- 21 guns. If given a choice, I would never have performed this song. However, due to the lack of time I just went ahead with it. Still, it was a good experience and I thank god for that! Sorry for anyone who ears bled when I sang!
In this camp, not only did I open up my heart again to various people, I opened my heart to god. I no longer have the "I am not worthy" notion in me during the camp- it really wasn't about me anymore. It is all about God.
I am really thankful to God about my new lg! They seem like really nice people and the best part about them is that they seem to be like natural born actors. Like out of a sudden, they will just start acting and I am like, are they being real or what? Sometimes they will even fight and even though it sounds very serious to me, Wei Kang told me that they are just joking around. I guess that's how NS man communicate, hopefully I will be trained to communicate like that also!
I don't know what else to say, my mind is a blank and I am really tired from the camp except that even until now, I can't believe that I am expecting something to come. I feel that I am too optimistic for my own good already but that's how I am now. I don't know if its coincidence or what, but whenever we sit in the Venda hall I will always see him and it always happens after I sat down. Directly, without any difficultly, he is in my vision when I look forward. God are you trying to tell me something? I really don't know what to do le cause I feel like I have done everything that I can do already.
Oh ya, while I am writing this post, I actually put on a mask that I gotten from the camp! My skin looks nicer after the mask right? :D
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