Haha

Honestly, I have forgotten about this blog ever since the last post and only managing to remember it today because I had a nice conversation with a good friend, Rafidah. School is still tolerable, no matter if I am hanging out with my clique from last sem or not. It shows to me that we can all adapt to our environment (MY FOOT). If I really can, I would have sticked to the same happenings in my past sem life, but I didnt. I geared myself away, away from the person I feel so much distaste to. I have tried sticking around, but it just didnt work. I might be burning bridges, but that would be my lesson learned.

As I push myself into other social circles, I realized many things. I started to see and know little details of my class I have never noticed before. One of them being that our class is tearing apart and forming new allies (guilty me). I also found out that, maybe the resocialization is a good thing after all. Well, it will be awkward if I want to find myself back into that very spot again, but at least, I am finally given choices. I can be with people whom I feel that its okay to be myself. I might not look like it, but sometimes, I am putting up facades and it is suffocating me.

Why do I have to smile just to adhere to the situation? I know I did it to maintain relationships, but that's what I thought. In the end, I am the only one hurting. How is it healthy? Why should I be the only one? When I pursue a relationship, I commit. So I am guessing if I find it not worth my time, I throw away my commitments.

Oh ya, there is a singing competition coming up in NYP, where the winners get to sing in front for the open house. It will be freakin' cool. I'd hope that we get into the finals, and not win though. It will be too embarassing. Of course, since this is my first time joining a competition, "I was petrified~". So I have decided to sing a duet with a friend, asyikin. I have never hear her sing before (until recently, when we went kbox), I was taking my chances. I am guessing, it is all about the fun, not the winning. Actually, I am willing to do a duet with anyone in my class, except for one. ____________. Opps.