Topic chosen- Greed.
Greed. What is greed? To many, it basically means a negative feeling of over-wanting things, definitely not a want; but to me, it's something essential- a must for me to survive in this cold cruel lonely world.
When I was ten, I was coveted by my parents very much- one little whimper from me would set them off, leading them to run hastily towards me, showering me with their utmost care and concern, questioning me as to if I was injured or feeling unwell. I took noticed of that fact and immediately used it to my advantage- whenever I felt like having the attention, I would stage a cry and the results would always be the same- they would rush towards me with worried faces. I was contended with myself then- to have the ability to make my parents come anytime I wanted them to. However, as time passed by, I did not felt the satisfaction anymore, I wanted something more and began making a lot of demands, and it worked!
But gradually, as I grew older and older, I began to lose this power. My parents would just take a glance at me and accused me of being a crybaby then carried on with their own chores. I suddenly have this surge of feeling of being unwanted and realized that I had to do something about it. And I did.
When I went to look for a teacher after school regarding an unsolved math question, I witnessed parents of Sean( a classmate of mine) having a conversation with the teacher, Mdm Tan, chatting about his disruptive behaviour in the class. A plan came into my mind and I acted it out. I began throwing paper airplanes during classes and "forgetting" to hand up homeworks, leading my teachers no choice but to ring my parents down. I was delighted at the sight of my parents looking at me again, even though it's a mere look of disappointment, but I still do. And guess what? I yearned for more.
I began playing truants in school and consuming drugs, once again, not giving my teacher any choice but to meet my parents. This time, it was more than looks of disappointment, my mom cried, kneed down, hugged me and started questioning me why I did this while my dad fumed with anger. I shrugged and gave a look of innocence, not caring what they feel but their attention.
When we got home, I screamed with happiness- reason: My dad whipped me with his black belt. The feeling of leather rubbing hard against my skin sends tingles of excitement down my spines, I cried for more, loving the time he used to spent with me. That fueled him on and he increased his pace until he was exhausted.
After he went to sleep, my mum came into my room and did first-aid on me before giving me her heart-warming embrace( she was previously locked in her room when the "punishment" began). She then cooed me to sleep while I tried to savour the warmth of her temperature; ending the day with the conclusion that I should do it more often. And I did, with the same cycle going round and round again as expected until I got bored of it. I decided to do something extreme, something that would make my parents notice me more than ever and perhaps forever. I decided to kill.
Looking at my blood-soaked hands, I grinned- happy with the fact that they could now supply me with what I want. I sat down on my bed, entertaining myself with pleasant thoughts. The door bell rang and I ran towards it with haste, not bothering to wash the stains on my hands. I frowned upon the sight of the visitors. They were the police. I was immediately handcuffed and brought to prison without a moment of hesitation.
On the way towards the destination, my parents halted the police( They ran into the middle of the road with their arms stretch) and said something( My mom begged) incoherent with them, I saw the polices shook their heads and the journey continued. I absolutely adored the way my parents gaped at me- the mixture of agony with disillusion; they have lost hope, which makes me lust for it more. I smirked, with my fingers tapping on my right thigh, wondering what should I do next- take more lives? I did not know, all I know was that I craved for more; my overwhelming desire could not discontinue this thing my heart ached for, I am messed up. Yet this greed is what kept me going...
So...how did I fair? Sad to say that I am not really confident with this one...
Greed. What is greed? To many, it basically means a negative feeling of over-wanting things, definitely not a want; but to me, it's something essential- a must for me to survive in this cold cruel lonely world.
When I was ten, I was coveted by my parents very much- one little whimper from me would set them off, leading them to run hastily towards me, showering me with their utmost care and concern, questioning me as to if I was injured or feeling unwell. I took noticed of that fact and immediately used it to my advantage- whenever I felt like having the attention, I would stage a cry and the results would always be the same- they would rush towards me with worried faces. I was contended with myself then- to have the ability to make my parents come anytime I wanted them to. However, as time passed by, I did not felt the satisfaction anymore, I wanted something more and began making a lot of demands, and it worked!
But gradually, as I grew older and older, I began to lose this power. My parents would just take a glance at me and accused me of being a crybaby then carried on with their own chores. I suddenly have this surge of feeling of being unwanted and realized that I had to do something about it. And I did.
When I went to look for a teacher after school regarding an unsolved math question, I witnessed parents of Sean( a classmate of mine) having a conversation with the teacher, Mdm Tan, chatting about his disruptive behaviour in the class. A plan came into my mind and I acted it out. I began throwing paper airplanes during classes and "forgetting" to hand up homeworks, leading my teachers no choice but to ring my parents down. I was delighted at the sight of my parents looking at me again, even though it's a mere look of disappointment, but I still do. And guess what? I yearned for more.
I began playing truants in school and consuming drugs, once again, not giving my teacher any choice but to meet my parents. This time, it was more than looks of disappointment, my mom cried, kneed down, hugged me and started questioning me why I did this while my dad fumed with anger. I shrugged and gave a look of innocence, not caring what they feel but their attention.
When we got home, I screamed with happiness- reason: My dad whipped me with his black belt. The feeling of leather rubbing hard against my skin sends tingles of excitement down my spines, I cried for more, loving the time he used to spent with me. That fueled him on and he increased his pace until he was exhausted.
After he went to sleep, my mum came into my room and did first-aid on me before giving me her heart-warming embrace( she was previously locked in her room when the "punishment" began). She then cooed me to sleep while I tried to savour the warmth of her temperature; ending the day with the conclusion that I should do it more often. And I did, with the same cycle going round and round again as expected until I got bored of it. I decided to do something extreme, something that would make my parents notice me more than ever and perhaps forever. I decided to kill.
Looking at my blood-soaked hands, I grinned- happy with the fact that they could now supply me with what I want. I sat down on my bed, entertaining myself with pleasant thoughts. The door bell rang and I ran towards it with haste, not bothering to wash the stains on my hands. I frowned upon the sight of the visitors. They were the police. I was immediately handcuffed and brought to prison without a moment of hesitation.
On the way towards the destination, my parents halted the police( They ran into the middle of the road with their arms stretch) and said something( My mom begged) incoherent with them, I saw the polices shook their heads and the journey continued. I absolutely adored the way my parents gaped at me- the mixture of agony with disillusion; they have lost hope, which makes me lust for it more. I smirked, with my fingers tapping on my right thigh, wondering what should I do next- take more lives? I did not know, all I know was that I craved for more; my overwhelming desire could not discontinue this thing my heart ached for, I am messed up. Yet this greed is what kept me going...
So...how did I fair? Sad to say that I am not really confident with this one...
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