New year, new life.

Once again, a year had passed. Though I did not join my firends in the countdown, deep in my heart, I know that I am as eagar as them. For this time, it is different. Theres a brand new lifestyle waiting for me; I do not have to dwell only in school and home anymore; I would make more good and mature friends; I will have more freedom; I could have fun and most importantly, I can have access to many things now! There's a one little problem though: O'lvl results. If its no good, how am I going to have a decent life?

I can't believe that I only start to worry about my results way long after the examination. Its so incredible. If anything, I would call this an extreme case of a SLOW brain. I wonder if it will make any difference if I study now...

"Hey, ignore those marks, I weren't ready then. Give me an exam now and I will be sure to ace it!" <---Yea, I wish.

The biggest source of fear, however, comes from the probability that I MIGHT need to retake the exam. It would be embarassing. Heck! I cant even bear to think about it. Ahh, lets hope that it will never ever happen!! ( touches wood).

Ha! The best deal about this new lifestyle is that I am finally able to KICK the old one away. Those detestable memories and things, they will soon be forgotten and thrown in a thrash bag like they had never happen before. I still can't believe that they did that to me! Ass and bitches!!( ignore my venting). At least I dont have to see their abhorable faces again. Never again. I hope. :DDDDDDDDDDDD

Lets welcome the start of the new year~ WOoo~

Bad feeling

On the 20th of december 2009, at around 9pm sharp, an overwhelming sense of foreboding hit me in full force. I have no idea why, it just did. Immediately, I stopped the chore I was doing and went straight to bed. Soon dying of sheer boredome, I began to reminisce.

Events after events went through my mind and a certain sentence kept echoing in my head. Had I really did it right? It was faint, yet clearly articulated, enforcing the sentence. It was said in such a manner that it was as if trying to judge myself guilty. Of course, not loving the idea of losing, I challenged the unknown voice. Time after time, no matter how much I had tried to deny my defeat, I knew I had lost and inevitably, acute pangs of remorse would haunt my entire being. If only I had done that. If only I had heed the advice. If only I was not that stubborn...

That being said, what's done is done- there is no turning back. One can't mend a broken vase back into its former glory, can he? No matter how hard he tries, what methods he used, scars of the incident could not be erased. So what for, fixing it with glue/tape? To me, it seems really foolish- I'd rather get a new one. Those that we really treasure won't even get broken in the first place...

After that very thought, my thoughts drifted to the present. And the same annoying voice persisted on. However, there is a difference between this time from the previous- I get a choice to retrace my steps. The vase is still falling. What am I to do? Save it? Or let it drop? I had never felt so lost..